Hello Internet.
An update to break the long overdue mostly to my lack of trying to blog.
Since my last update, which was unsurprisingly in November, I've pretty much dedicated my time in uncontrollable splurging on unnecessary things or rather, eating at places that collectively costs my whole month's allowance. Not that I don't enjoy eating, but I don't know what came over me when I decided to order a $40 steak, a $10 drink and a $15 dessert MID MONTH.
Aside from the eating-as-if-I-make-money dilemma, I've spent some time doing touristy things and buying magnets as if the fridge needs one more.
After getting back home to Brunei, I hardly saw any of my friends which I don't really feel so weird about considering I've never really been that friend who likes doing things that friends do (what is it that they do?). So I guess most of my friends/acquaintances understand that because I fill myself in through their snaps.
Not that I mind. Like I said, never that friendly of a person. Can I use the term 'selective participation' in this scenario? Or would that make me sound even more bitchy.
I haven't been feeling very lively lately. Ever since Australia and the difficulty I found in striking and maintaining an intelligent enough conversation, getting back home was no different at all. I got home and the first thing I thought of was 'do I still have friends?'. Hell, I spent more time with my swimming coach whom I just met recently than I did with my friends from ages ago.
And thus, caving in was the one thing I knew how to do best. Staying off the radar and being mysterious was easy. I could've been back in Australia and no one would've known until I snap something.
This whole hiding thing has been going on a while. During the rough times overseas, I even saw the uni counsellor numerous times trying to figure out if I was incapable of handling uni life properly or if there really was something wrong with me.
The whole 'but Mills, you're such an extrovert!' is getting old, really. I may have been active in high school but still no one knew what was going with me. One time I was all red and puffy eyed in GP class and no one could crack me.
Maybe it's me. Doing a damn good job drawing a fine line between privacy and hiding. Well done.
Nothing's interesting anymore guys. I don't try to joke anymore, I've run out of cheesy ass pickup lines, I've lost my capability to speak my mind and argue, I can't remember the last time I properly laughed without trying to be fake to survive social events. I'm just Illyana now. Indifferent, plain and blended.
An update to break the long overdue mostly to my lack of trying to blog.
Since my last update, which was unsurprisingly in November, I've pretty much dedicated my time in uncontrollable splurging on unnecessary things or rather, eating at places that collectively costs my whole month's allowance. Not that I don't enjoy eating, but I don't know what came over me when I decided to order a $40 steak, a $10 drink and a $15 dessert MID MONTH.
Aside from the eating-as-if-I-make-money dilemma, I've spent some time doing touristy things and buying magnets as if the fridge needs one more.
After getting back home to Brunei, I hardly saw any of my friends which I don't really feel so weird about considering I've never really been that friend who likes doing things that friends do (what is it that they do?). So I guess most of my friends/acquaintances understand that because I fill myself in through their snaps.
Not that I mind. Like I said, never that friendly of a person. Can I use the term 'selective participation' in this scenario? Or would that make me sound even more bitchy.
I haven't been feeling very lively lately. Ever since Australia and the difficulty I found in striking and maintaining an intelligent enough conversation, getting back home was no different at all. I got home and the first thing I thought of was 'do I still have friends?'. Hell, I spent more time with my swimming coach whom I just met recently than I did with my friends from ages ago.
And thus, caving in was the one thing I knew how to do best. Staying off the radar and being mysterious was easy. I could've been back in Australia and no one would've known until I snap something.
This whole hiding thing has been going on a while. During the rough times overseas, I even saw the uni counsellor numerous times trying to figure out if I was incapable of handling uni life properly or if there really was something wrong with me.
The whole 'but Mills, you're such an extrovert!' is getting old, really. I may have been active in high school but still no one knew what was going with me. One time I was all red and puffy eyed in GP class and no one could crack me.
Maybe it's me. Doing a damn good job drawing a fine line between privacy and hiding. Well done.
Nothing's interesting anymore guys. I don't try to joke anymore, I've run out of cheesy ass pickup lines, I've lost my capability to speak my mind and argue, I can't remember the last time I properly laughed without trying to be fake to survive social events. I'm just Illyana now. Indifferent, plain and blended.
xom.
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