finally

I am getting tired of all this shit.

If you want me to excel, then let me be the way i am.

Leave me some space so I could actually breathe real air.

I know that I haven't got a lot to give, but give me credit for achieving some.

I know I'm not exactly that ideal person where whatever you want from me, I will achieve FOR YOU.

I know I'm not as smart as the rest, but I know I'm not stupid.

Whenever I achieve something, may it be a big one or just a minor one, you never take notice.

You'd always tell to improve and be better.

I don't feel appreciated.

You'd always tell me to work harder. And while there are some truth in your words, what more do you expect from me?

As much as the words scar, I would always push myself to better FOR YOU.

When I study so hard, and the product of it is unsatisfying, I break down because I know I've let YOU down.

You would drag me everywhere you go without even thinking what I've got to do, and when I get horrendous marks, you scold me.

You diminish me.

You downgrade me.

You silence me.

You bring the worst out of me.

You make me feel stupid.

You make me feel that what I've achieved is so stupid, it's just really stupid.

My achievements may not be a lot, but all I want are words of support and tell me that what I've achieved means a lot to you.

You never show me your support.

You didn't even attend the closing ceremony. It may just look like a stupid camp, where kids will finally wash their own plates, but it means a lot to me. I wanted to show you that I can be that child you've always talked about.

That independent child.

But you didn't come.

I tried to hold my anger and my tears because I told myself you might have important things to do.

Something more important than the ceremony.

When I got elected as a PRS, you questioned my election.

And I didn't doubt that because you know me better. I didn't care and the feeling that you questioned it pains me.

You came to ceremony, but you complained after that.

You even asked me why you had to be there.

You know, just the sight of you entering the auditorium made my day.

Just the sight of you.

Imagine if you actually praised me for it.

When I study, I have a fear of letting you down.

But this is getting idiotic because whatever I get, you'd always tell me to be better.

Even if it's an A, you'd want more than that.

But, I never did get any As this year, right?

And you told me to be better, once again.

Why should I do better? If that is all I can give?

This is not just directed at a person. This directs to a lot. Find yourself in my words. Breathe through my pain. Because I've had a lot of them, and I want to get it over with.