emotional wreckage

I, for one will never stand up in front of a crowd to read out a speech. 
EVER.
NEVER AGAIN.


or maybe it's because of that time of the month.
that would explain my sudden urge to just give a middle finger to everyone, really. 
not everyone, but you know.
& to just burst up for no apparent reason.


to sum up today: it's pretty much everything. 
when everything goes well,  shit happens. 
well I'm wrong, LIFE happens.
everything went well, I prepared a person to talk about, why I chose her and everything.
When suddenly you realise you got the instructions all wrong.
You actually had to describe that person.
by heart. 
and although Robin Lim won CNN Hero of the Year, I didn't know her at all.


I thought it was going to be easy to talk about it.
WRONG.
I choked up just by thinking.


One thing I learnt during camp was it was okay to cry regardless who you are.
It's a sign we're alive. 


So, I didn't mind tearing up.
Because I know that I could actually describe this person by heart.
& it was easy because describing isn't hard. 
but it was hard all at the same time because theories and reality don't mingle.
& I only realised it then. 


I got OD being OD. 


Mal was right. The whole point of blogging is so that we could avoid telling tales face front.