This position I never wanted to be in

I could never hate you. At least not right now. If I hate the head, it's impossible to hate the others. You won't understand. They'll tell you soon enough. Enough time for you to grow and for me to explore. You're young and just 8 months older than the youngest. I don't want this to affect you. If you want to hate me, it has to be a problem of yours and mine. I don't want you to fight a war that's not yours. You'll know the story soon, but if you dont, that's better. Long pretty lashes, fair skin and a beautiful face. No doubt the prettiest. I'm not going to stand in your way just like the rest are planning to do. You and I have got no war to finish and no mysterious puzzles to solve. Not right now. Never, I hope. By the time you understand bits and pieces of this, some of us will be long gone. They want you to continue a story, but I want you to start a chapter. 
DSZWPZZ, I'm sorry that you have to go through this.